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13 COURT ROOM CONVERSATIONS (REAL STORIES)
1.
Lawyer: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
Witness: “All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.”
2.
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
3.
Lawyer: “How old is your son, the one living with you?”
Witness: “Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.”
Lawyer: “How long has he lived with you?”
Witness: “Forty-five years.”
4.
Lawyer: “This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “And in what ways does it affect your memory?”
Witness: “I forget.”
Lawyer: “You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?”
5.
- Lawyer: “What happened then?”
- Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”
- Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
- Witness: “No.”
6.
Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”
7.
Lawyer: “I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.”
Witness: “That’s me.”
Lawyer: “Were you present when that picture was taken?”
8.
Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “How many were boys?”
Witness: “None.”
Lawyer: “Were there girls?”
9.
Lawyer: “Are you married?”
Witness: “No, I’m divorced.”
Lawyer: “And what did your husband do before you divorced him?”
Witness: “A lot of things I didn’t know about.”
10.
Lawyer: “Did he pick the dog up by the ears?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “What was he doing with the dog’s ears?”
Witness: “Picking them up in the air.”
Lawyer: “Where was the dog at this time?”
Witness: “Attached to the ears.”
11.
Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
Witness: “Oral.”
Lawyer: “How old are you?”
Witness: “Oral.”
12.
Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?”
Witness: “I could see his head.”
Lawyer: “And where was his head?”
Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”
13.
Lawyer: “Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?”
Witness: “Because he was argumentary, and he couldn’t pronunciate his words.”
Hi ! You made me laugh!
Oh, these are terrible! Definitely signs you need a new lawyer.
That was very funny!!! Love the Cathy/Susan one.
I love these! I certainly hope if I ever find myself as a defendant that I don’t get one of THESE lawyers. Thanks for the giggles this morning.
I appreciate the visit to my T13.
Those were too funny! I loved them!
HA, that was so funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Oh, those are good. My favorites are the common sense ones: where are the ears? Attached to the head.
Thanks for the smile! Happy TT!
Thanks for the morning chuckle. Happy T13!
Gosh. I hope if I’m on trial my lawyer is a bit more awake than that! They are funny though…..
Those are funny! Number 9 is my favorite!
Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
These are great!
This is the proof that even after taking like 6 or 7 years of university, you can still be stupid!!
These are scary funny. Esp. #5! (Thanks for visiting my TT)
these are really funny, i was rotfl! thanks for visiting me:-)
Those were hysterical!!!
Hahahaha!
Thanks for the laughs!
Happy TT!
I can never get enough of these kind of jokes! :-))
Thanks for visiting my black panther TT.
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