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miscellaneous
I work on Saturdays.
Just when most of the working moms shout “hurrah weekend!”, in this globally unsynchronized place where I am an expat mom, work week starts on a Saturday. Schools and other offices including my husband’s start on Sunday. What does that mean to me and my little family?
It means I have to battle the miscellaneous feelings, turning my back as I exit through the door trying to shut my ears amidst the wailing of my daughter to let me stay.
“Don’t work mom!! Stay with me, stay with me”.
Her voice echoes through the corridor week after week. I clench my keys, get on the elevator, frantic to close the thick door.
I try to wake up quietly, sneak out of bed, get dressed but somehow, my daughter knows even in her sleep, opens her eyes and cries like I am going to abandon her permanently. To say it tears my heart to see her face all wet in tears would be an understatement. I eat my breakfast with her face buried in my chest, making my shirt wet with her tears.
When I am at work I think of my child left at home, when I am with her at home (for too long especially when she is sick), I think of work and the face of my boss when he learns I am not in my desk. My heart is forever rent.
This writing exercise is fueled by the writing prompt “miscellaneous” at Sunday Scribblings.
It is so hard being a working mother. A worldwide problem..
Arty? Not me!!
I feel terribly sad for you. I have a hard time leaving my daughter just to run to the store & she’s really yet to notice my absence. I admire you for the courage to be able to do what you must, I’m sure one day you will be able to explain to an understanding young woman your reasoning.. hopefully that will be enough to get you through!
Girlie Girl used to do that. I would tear my up because I knew I was leaving for a few days. Now she says, “I think you should go to work today, Mommy.” I’m not sure what’s worse. hee hee
I love your last line - “my heart is forever for rent.” So hard to always be torn.
Oh, it just isn’t easy. I remember those heart-wrenching times when you just can do it all and you MUST. Wow! How I remember. But later, it seems to work out all right -
I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you to leave her. I remember how hard it was having to leave my 2 little ones at day care. One of the loved it, and the other hated it. But now, neither even remember being in day care when they were little.
As little as they are they know how to manipulate us - I’ve wondered where does that come from?? You’re doing a wonderful thing, providing and teaching her a work ethic that will stand her in good stead, you’re a gem plus you write well too … thank YOU for this wonderful post!
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