There are lots of them and they come in different packages - some are outspoken but corny, confident only after alcohol consumption, there are some who work tirelessly everyday and have zero social life, then there are some who claims to play tennis 8 hours straight every weekend but walks with an obvious flatfoot. Oh, before I forget, there is one guy who looks and acts like a saint, unmarried, kind and speculations prevail that he is the most perfect bachelor in the office but unknown to almost everyone, he spends his Friday nights at pub houses in the company of ladies who dress like they are in the Moulin Rouge.

To cover every description of the men around me would take more than a million words so I will just talk about some of them, particularly the (almost) legitimate bachelors I know and see everyday.

Japanese men are not known romanticists, it’s a shame to compare them to amorous Italianos or passionate Latinos. Even the Filipino suitor fares well in the courtship stage. There is one dreaded word in the Japanese vocabulary that stops them from being so. That word is “suto-ka-”, the Japanese pronunciation of the English “stalker”. To be called a stalker is such a great shame. It’s like being in love, being honest and romantic but treated like a criminal. So they play it safe. They might like someone but can’t gather enough courage to tell her so. They won’t give anonymous gifts because it will freak the Jap girls out. On the other hand, I enjoy receiving unsigned gifts and card and the idea of having a “secret admirer”. Sometimes, they ward off feelings for the opposite sex by making assumptions that she might be already taken without even making the first move.

In a society where it is not taboo for the creatures from Venus (the female) to profess love to a Martian (the men), the Japanese men have become the passive, cold and lazy creature. Some would just wait, display a little fashion, preen in the summer beaches and get a gal home. Some would just wait for Friday nights and pay their way to fantasy. Prostitution is not illegal in Japan and the women on the streets and dark corners contend they are the strength of the Japanese working society! That is, they are the stress-relievers of the heavily, overly worked Japanese otakus (work freaks). But that would totally be on a different entry.

So with all this bashing about the Japanese men around me, don’t ask me why I married one. As true in all cases, there is always an exception. At least he had the courage to tell me his feelings right from the start, without fear of rejection, he sends one-liner messages on my phone that says ‘I love you’, is not afraid to hold my hands in public or put his arms around me when we take pictures together, and most of all, he continues to show me he cares for me, well, with pretty hectic schedule at work and a toddler at home, the shower of affection might not come everyday as before but I know he does still care for me after three years of marriage and 7 years after our first “hello”.

If not, why else would I marry him?

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Today I am thankful for M. After all these years, he has not changed a bit and continuous to be the loving and caring husband that he is.