1. People ask what color your hair USED to be.

2. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

3. Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make whoopee” and you answer “Pick one, I can’t do both!”

4. You’re smiling all the time because you can’t hear a thing anyone is saying.

5. You’re very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.

6. You’re having trouble remembering simple words like…

7. You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve gone back into style - TWICE.

8. You start Christmas shopping in August.

9. You point out what buildings used to be where.

10. You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.

13. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.