I dreamed of something extra-ordinary last night. In my dream, I was having a baby!

I was pregnant and due to deliver at any hour. It felt so real even the labor pains I had almost four years ago came back to life. I felt all the labor scene, even the gush of water as my water bag broke seemed so true. Then finally, a very healthy baby girl (again!) for me. Just like all the mothers in the world, I instantly fell in love with the baby. Oh, just by typing this entry I can imagine the baby’s sweet smell and soft skin. I woke up at 4 am, and cuddled my little girl, peacefully sleeping beside me.

Before I slept last night, I called a friend I haven’t met for almost two years now. She’s been married for 3 years and still trying to have a baby. She laughingly said, they’ve been doing their “thing” but with their efforts to no avail, they all leave it up to “mother nature”. That nature will do the timing and the works, while she and husband will just continue to do their part. We both laughed when I said I can’t let nature have the control in my life because I know I would get pregnant immediately if I do that. We had our daughter P on the first year of our marriage, conceived right after we lived together!

The conversation went on to our common friend who finally, surprisingly got pregnant last year after 12 years of being married and barren. At first, K-san (our common friend) wanted and tried to have a baby for three years but gave up because there were none. Then she and husband left it all to “nature”. At 34 years old, she and husband finally accepted they were not meant to be parents and just promised to enjoy each other’s company onto their graying years when suddenly, last year, K-san fell pregnant. She panicked, didn’t do what to do and called me so many times, I could pose for her ob-gyne #2. She gave birth to a baby girl last year and again to another early this year!

Looking back at the dream I had last night, I know in my heart I want to have another child. I have four brothers and a sister and I am immensely enjoying our bond together and the laughter we never failed to have in our home. I couldn’t imagine being an only child. Yes, I could have had the material things that one-child families can give to their only but there would be something lacking.

My daughter would love company, too — I know that because lately, she longs to go to pre-school where she has friends more or less her age. No amount of playing with an adult (me or her father) can equal the joy of what children have to offer to each other. It is totally a different thing. I hope I could give her a brother or sister she truly deserves.

I am thankful of having P early in my marriage. Looking back, we could never think of any other perfect time to have a baby than when we had her. I am thankful that I didn’t have to go through any trouble conceiving like most of my Japanese friends who had to wait for more than 10 years to conceive or has to seek medical assistance to be pregnant.